Anthomation Assesses PAW Patrol: The Movie

Howdy guys, Anthomaton here. Today I shall review something that no teenager should be wasting their time watching: PAW Patrol: The Movie.

PAW Patrol: The Movie is a 2021 animated film based on the television series PAW Patrol. It is the first of several planned films, unfortunately. The film was produced by Nickelodeon Movies and Spin Master Entertainment and released by Paramount worldwide escape Canada. The film was produced almost entirely in Canada; according to Cal Brunker, “95 percent of everything” happened in Canada, with the exception being some audio recording. You would think that this would be my get-out-of-jail-free card for reviewing this film, but it is based on an American property so I must review it.

When their biggest rival, Humdinger, starts wreaking havoc as the mayor of Adventure City, Ryder and everyone’s favorite heroic pups kick into high gear to face the challenge. Armed with exciting new gadgets and gear, the PAW Patrol joins forces with a savvy dachshund to save the citizens of Adventure City.

Wow, does that plot summary sound pathetic or what? What genius at Paramount greenlit this idea to be released to the public? I mean, this story may be passable for a PAW Patrol episode but definitely a full length animated feature. The narrative of the film is incredibly THIN in every meaning of the word. Folks, there is no engagement whatsoever for anyone over the age of three years old (which at that age, the only thing you are engaging at is your favorite toy). And I get it, three years and under is the target audience for this film. But c’mon, give me something to work with! I had to watch this film at 7:30 in the morning so I would not miss the Sunday NFL games on TV! So yeah, the story sucks! Next section! 

The animation is, to be nice, PAW Patrol quality. The basics of animation are not done terribly. The character models are watchable and there are some nice looking colors in the background of Adventure City. See even the name of the city is STUPID! But getting back on track, everything from a visual standpoint is average, at best. Nothing leaps out at the screen that will WOW anyone, except for that three year old that is in a timeout. The character movements I guess were decent. I mean, every human and dog move around in a reasonable enough motion. It’s just odd that humans are cool with dogs talking and rescuing people in this world. But hey, that indicates my prior knowledge of this property.

The characters in this movie are the biggest cookie-cutter cardboard cutouts to crack through the curtain. There is Chase, a German shepherd and the main protagonist of the film who serves as a police pup. There’s Liberty, a dachshund who lives on the streets in Adventure City and becomes the newest member of the PAW Patrol. There’s Ryder, a young boy who serves as the leader of the PAW Patrol. Brisbin replaces Beckett Hipkiss from the series. There’s Rubble, a bulldog who serves as a construction pup. There’s Skye, a cockapoo who serves as an aviator pup. There’s Marshall, a Dalmatian who serves as a firefighting pup. There’s Rocky, a mixed-breed who serves as a recycling pup. There’s Zuma, a chocolate Labrador retriever who serves as an aquatic rescue pup. And then there is Mayor Humdinger, the PAW Patrol’s biggest rival and the film’s main antagonist who becomes the mayor of nearby Adventure City. All of the dialogue is so blatant. This is the type of movie where characters (cough cough, Humdinger) will just break the fourth wall and proclaim to the audience that they are the villain. Subtle! 

The fact that there are sequels on the way vexes me at an extraordinary level. The story is garbage, the animation is blah, and the characters are dumb. You want my advice, DON’T watch this movie. And more importantly, DON’T buy the movie’s merchandise. Because that is all the studio behind it cares about.

Score:

2.5/10