Anthomation Assesses Norm of the North

Howdy guys, Anthomation here. Today I shall review more of the painful movies I’ve had to sit through: Norm of the North (2016 film).

Norm of the North is a 2016 film directed by Trevor Wall and written by Daniel R. Altiere, Steven M. Altiere, and Malcolm T. Goldman. It was produced by AssemblageEntertainment, Splash Entertainment and Telegael, and distributed by Lionsgate (who has a habit of distributing animated films at the bottom-of-the-barrel as they also own the rights to Foodfight! (2012)). It grossed $30.5 million at the box office on a $18 budget, which sadly was good enough to spawn three direct-to-video sequels.

This movie is about a polar bear named Norm, who can apparently speak to humans for a reason we will never know of, who is about to become the king of the Arctic. But when he sees a luxury condo filled with humans, he wants to get it out because they don’t belong there. Then Norm’s grandfather is taken by animal catchers, so it’s up to our furry friend to travel to New York, rescue his grandfather, and save the Arctic along the way.

The story is absolutely all over the place. I didn’t even tell you half of the subplots this movie so desperately tries to throw in. There’s also a villain who wants to fill the Arctic with luxury condos, a little girl that Norm quickly befriends, and romance with Norm and another polar bear, Norm having to please his father for all of the actions he takes, and AH! There’s way too much going on and all of these plotlines are passed on by faster than anyone can blink. It’s like the producers of this movie had a checklist of all of the various animated film cliches that had stuffed into this 88 minute flick.

The animation here is terrible. If Foodfight’s animation was rock-bottom, Norm of the North’s animation would be a half-step above that. The characters are not rendered properly. The fur of the animals looks as fake as a teddy bear’s fur and the skin of the humans looks as plastic and artificial as a Barbie doll. The backgrounds are as phoned-in and lazy as can be. Also, every character moves and behaves like a discount Illumination or Sony Animation character. Worst of all, the character designs are absolute garbage. Clearly, this was the thing that was the most rushed in the animation process because these characters are not natural-looking in the least.

With a bad story and bad animation, it would be inevitable that the characters would be badly thought out as well. Norm (voiced by Rob Schneider) who is the typical protagonist getting bullied for his unique difference (his ability to talk to humans) and having to overcome the odds to save the Arctic and earn the respect of the peers around here. There’s Mr. Greene (voiced by Ken Jeong). He’s the evil corporate billionaire who desires to build condos in the Arctic so he can make a fortune selling them off in the Arctic. There’s Olympia Brightly, a little girl who quickly befriends Norm and wants to help him save the Arctic. Then there’s Vera Brightly (Olympia’s mom who also works for Mr. Greene), and Elizabeth (the love-interest of Norm who literally only gets five minutes of screentime), and a whole slew of character-tropes that the screenwriters took as little time to develop as any of the main characters. And then there are the lemmings, who are three sorry excuses this movie wants us to believe are the comedy-reliefs. They’re only purpose in life is to either take a piss (seriously, there are convective scenes dedicated to this) or to be rip-offs of the Minions. They have this running joke that they’re completely indestructible even if they’re stomped on or electrocuted. Well, it’s not funny! Everytime I see these jerks, I just want to cook them over a fire just like what Chewbacca did to that porg in The Last Jedi. But the one thing this movie did manage to establish, it’s that these are most stupid characters you will ever meet in an animated film. It’s already bad enough that everyone is ok with a polar bear roaming the streets of New York City, but the people don’t even know that Norm is a real polar bear in the first place! In fact, they think that he is just a person in a bear costume! I don’t know who lost more brain cells, the characters in this movie or anyone having to sit through this piece of crap.

Wow, I never thought any movie would be capable of giving Foodfight! a run for its money for worst animated film if all time, but Norm of the North came pretty darn close. The story is horribly written, the animation is worse than second-rate, and the characters are either too stupid or too bland or even considered likeable. I can’t even recommend this movie to even really little kids unless it is just for pure background noise. The only reason why this movie doesn’t get a 0/10 is because it actually costs money to watch this movie on YouTube.

Score:

1/10