The great yard sign war of 2020!


Halle Isaak

This is a yard sign found in our Wilsonville community. People are putting up candidate signs all around the Nation.

As this magical year draws to an end and election day comes closer, battle lines have been drawn. The people of Wilsonville are divided politically, and continue to bicker over the smallest of differences.

Having fought The Battle of Shrieking at People on the Internet to a stalemate, Wilsonville is now experiencing another skirmish–oh joy–and it is coming to front lawns near you! As you have probably seen in your neighbor’s lawn or maybe even your own (Quick!  Go look!), people have started buying yard signs to show their support for their candidate. 

However not everyone wants opposing signs displayed. Warriors from both sides have heard the call to remove the signs of the candidates they do not support from neighbors’ lawns. Acting like ninjas in the night, some will remove, destroy or vandalize these signs — leaving behind a whimpering clump of corrugated plastic and twisted wire. 

But what does this solve? Would this unite both parties? Is this the best way to support your party and sway the undecided voters? 

If one is concerned with the waste these signs bring to our environment, one could go and clean trash on beaches or start donating to organizations that help the environment. Understandably, climate change is very important, but destroying other people’s possessions is not the best use of your time. 

If you do not want to see these polarizing signs in your community, try putting hundreds and hundreds of pink plastic lawn flamingos in your yard. How would this help? First of all, it would boost community spirits–no matter where you align–because seeing a sea of pink flamingos would bring joy to anyone. Secondly, all the bright pink flamingos would draw someone’s eyes away from the political signs-thus no longer feeling the need to destroy or remove them.  

Still not satisfied? Still feeling the urge to participate in the yard sign shenanigans? Try playing baseball! Instead of stealing signs, you can steal bases. It includes all of the fun, without the actual action of vandalism or theft.